Too Much: the hilarious, heartfelt memoir

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With moving honesty and wit, Tom writes beautifully about those days, weeks and months following his family's loss, and about how bewildering the practicalities of life can be in the wake of an upheaval - those moments, really, when everything can start to feel a bit too much... There is comedy as well as pathos, much of it focusing on Allen’s conflicting desperation both to fit in and to be special. Occasionally, self-deprecation crosses into self‑flagellation, and some of his analysis is painful to read. He has a perfectionist’s eye (and an obsession with interior design) and is expert at skewering the banality of grief – such as when a funeral home “resembled less a threshold between this life and the next and more a conference suite … the sort of space a local accountancy firm might hold its quarterly meetings”. From being thrown into an unreal reality: the surreal nature of sitting in an undertaker's, choosing a casket, previously unimaginable, to the stages of reflection, recrimination, and acceptance, Too Much, is a story of bereavement, maturity and continuance.

It was worth continuing...the audio book is read by Tom, and although 'performed' (it is typically Tom Allen, which is a joy), his reading adds to its authenticity, nuanced with gentle inflexion.

Happily settled in a new relationship and with a dream house of his own, comedian Tom Allen had finally moved on from the arrested development of millennial life and could at last call himself an adult. Chapter 10 - “The things I did say, and more painfully the things I was unable to say, play over and over again on the movie projector in my head, tinged at times with terrible regret. Tom Allen’s Dad is correct: You can never have TOO MUCH love. This book is a humorous and loving reflection on grief. Allen decided to write a series of diary entries/vignettes of stories about his adored dad as a way of coming to terms with his terrible loss. With each chapter headed by a quote from his dad, Allen explores his relationship with his father as a way of attempting to come to terms with his grief and its complexities. When Tom Allen’s first memoir, No Shame, was published in 2020, he was 37, permanently single and living at home with his parents in Bromley. Two years on, circumstances have changed. Allen has a boyfriend and a house of his own, minutes away from the family home, but his dad died suddenly at the end of 2021. Too Much is his attempt to face that loss, come to terms with their imperfect relationship and learn how to be an adult now his much-loved role model is gone. Fans of his arch and cutting comedy might be surprised to find that the book is heartfelt, vulnerable and touchingly sincere.

Tom uses a series of short stories to share his journey of managing grief after the death of his father. His stories are honest, emotional, funny and relatable. He is both genuine and sincere, and if like me you have lost a parent, you can probably see your grief and it’s journey reflected in his words.This is not a challenging book to read after the loss of a parent but is almost refreshing, and a lovely tribute to Tom’s beloved father. At the start of 2021, all was going blissfully well for Tom Allen. He'd recently moved into his own house, he was in his first serious relationship, and at last felt like a proper adult. Life was still constricted by the necessity of staying safe from Covid, but he was happy and contented. And then in late 2021 Tom's father died unexpectedly, and everything changed. The author's voice comes through very clearly and there are some wonderful phrases that I can imagine as part of a stand up act. My problem with the book is that the anecdotes are not developed enough. I finished the book knowing about some things that had happened but not enough about his feelings and emotions.