Sometimes I got a little frustrated with Jenna, as she tended to monologue a lot in her mind (in the middle of conversations especially) but I came to enjoy the growth that her character experienced as the story went on. This audiobook is made excessively long (18hrs) by the authors autobiographical style of recounting many stories of his own life when explaining a point.

Jenna spends her days working as an aesthetician in a spa and her weekends at her parents pumpkin farm. He gives an example here of a friend asking him to get together and him modeling his response which was that he cannot do that for the next 3 months. Since I've already read some books about people pleasing, I didn't mind that it didn't talk much about how it is a coping mechanism from childhood stress and truama. Deliveries to destinations outside Australia are made by DHL courier, and cannot be made to post office boxes. it didn't feel generic, it felt like every example was plucked from my own life and spit out on the page.The examples and exercises in the book were excellent, easy to complete, meaningful, and easy to relate to. Not Nice by Aziz Gazipura is a self-improvement book that helps us overcome the fear of rejection and build healthy boundaries.

Honestly, it's more honest to be direct with your feelings; trying to cover up how you feel is manipulative.

We also look at how to recognize when others violate these boundaries, and how to assert ourselves in response. I really enjoyed the book and love how it shows real life struggles like bullying and struggling to eat that young children go through but are too scared to speak up about it. He completed his doctoral training at Stanford and Palo Alto Universities and is the founder of the Center For Social Confidence. It's easy to read without having to trudge through psychobabble, and has lots of great examples, profound quotes and even an action list at the end to get you used to being less nice. I used to come across obviously assertive people and be jealous, even resentful toward them because I wished I could be like them.

Reading through this book is as painful (because of the truth behing the nice person mask) as making the painful change but well worth it. I normally wouldn't mind that because it is still a different experience than my own, but he doesn't talk much about how he's impacted his clients, and how they slowly changed. I loved the family relationships and characters having to discover their true selves and facing hard things and healing and learning and growing and so much more!

Some of the Exercises at the end are amazing and if you throw yourself into them, you will be so surprised on how far you have come.